Change isn’t easy. Scratch that, change can be a pain in the ass. Why is that? Why does making a change sometimes feel like you’re facing an uphill battle?
Most of us have changes that we want to make – myself included. But we struggle. We struggle to get started, we struggle to keep going, and we struggle to be consistent.
Below are 8 common obstacles we face when wanting to make a change. The more awareness we have the more clarity we gain. The more clarity we gain the more action we can take.
Obstacle #1 – Your why isn’t clear
Why do you want to make a change? It’s important to ask yourself this question for 2 reasons.
#1 It’s important to determine that a change is one YOU desire to make. Not one your spouse, partner, child, friend, or society wants you to make. Making a change should stem from a genuine, personal desire rather than external pressures or expectations. It’s essential to distinguish between changes you feel obligated to make for others and changes that resonate with your inner self.
It must be a change YOU want to make deep down.
#2 Understanding why you desire to make a change you want can help when you face other challenges. Once you’ve identified the change you genuinely desire, understanding the underlying reasons (your “why”) adds depth and resilience to your commitment. Here’s why having a clear “why” is crucial:
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Motivational Anchor: Your “why” serves as a powerful anchor during challenging times. When faced with obstacles or distractions, reflecting on why the change is important to you can reignite your motivation.
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Focus and Direction: Clarity on your “why” provides a clear sense of direction. It helps you prioritize and stay focused on the aspects of your life that align with your goals.
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Resilience: Life is unpredictable, and challenges are inevitable. Knowing your “why” strengthens your resilience. It becomes a source of strength during tough times, preventing you from being easily swayed or discouraged.
Take the time to uncover and define your “why.” Ask yourself what achieving this change means to you, how it aligns with your values, and the positive impact it could have on your life. Write down your reasons and revisit them regularly to reinforce your commitment.
Obstacle #2 – You’re trying to make too many changes
Are you trying to make several changes at once? Or maybe you want to make a really big change?
If you have lots of changes you want to make in your life, you might feel pressure to do all the things right now. You might even feel that to do this change you also have to make that change, which can lead to yet another change you must make.
Change takes energy and focus. Spreading yourself too thin by attempting multiple changes can lead to little energy for each.
Instead of throwing in a lot of changes at once, take one step at a time. If you’re trying to make a big change, can you break it down into smaller steps?
Remember, the journey of change is a marathon, not a sprint. By taking one step at a time and focusing on manageable adjustments, you increase the likelihood of sustainable and lasting transformation. Slow and steady progress is better than a flurry of action that’s not sustainable.
** Ask yourself – What is one small (even tiny) action I can take?
Obstacle #3 – You have a fear of failure
If you have a fear of failure then you’re in good company. Why do we fear failure? To make any progress we must make mistakes. We learn this as babies.
When babies are learning to walk they take a step, fall, get up, fall again, and keep getting back up. Same for learning to ride a bike. Kids keep trying, even when they’ve crashed.
At some point, failing becomes more frightening. Why does that happen?
You will be okay if you fail. Life will go on. The sky won’t fall. What will happen is you’ll learn, pivot, and be even better for it.
But not if you don’t take action.
** Change your perspective to a more curious one. Seeing failure as a learning experience can make it easier to handle.
Obstacle #4 – You don’t feel motivated
The reality is we’re not always going to feel like doing something. I don’t feel like cleaning the bathroom or mopping the floor. But I know that I’ll be happy with the results. Can you relate?
Life is going to happen and we won’t always feel like doing something.
Motivation doesn’t cause action, it’s the result of actions.
This is where Mel Robbin’s 5 Second Rule comes in handy. The second you hesitate or start thinking you don’t “feel” like it, count “5-4-3-2-1”, then go. You’ll interrupt your brain talking you out of it. (For more tips to check out this article)
** Don’t wait to feel motivated. Revisit why you want to make a change. Then get into action.
Obstacle #5 – You lack a supportive environment
A supportive environment is critical for making any change. This environment includes your physical environment and the people around you.
Physical environment
If you want to eat less sugar, but your house is full of sugary snacks, it’s going to be more challenging to make that change.
If you want to think more positively, then being around people that are negative a lot or watching the news all the time will make it that much more difficult.
Or if you want to quit smoking but spend a lot of time with people that do smoke. It’ll be harder to resist temptation.
** What can you do to make your environment more supportive?
If you want to get up and go for a walk or run right away then try setting up your environment to make this easier. Set out your clothes and shoes the night before.
People around you
When we’re changing something meaningful about our lifestyle, health, career, finances, or any other aspect of our lives, we want to make sure we’re getting the right support.
Take a look at the people around you. This can be hard. Unfortunately, not everyone will be supportive of the change you want to make. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. But this doesn’t mean you can’t make the change.
It means that you must find the right community to support you. It may involve people you know, or maybe it’s someone you don’t know personally but has followed a similar path.
This doesn’t mean you have to shun people who disagree with the changes you want to make. Not at all. Disagreements can be valuable and help us understand ourselves and others. But maybe you keep those people at a distance or don’t discuss the change you’re working on.
** You do want to make sure that people around you support your desire to grow as a person.
Obstacle #6 – You don’t know where to start
You may have this great desire to make a change but, in reality, have no idea where to begin.
Fortunately, there is the internet and likely lots of people that have done it before. Do some searching. Talk to people. Take advice from someone who has actually been in your shoes and gone where you want to go.
Or if you can’t find anyone, read the top-rated books on that topic or read blog articles.
** Find a way that suits you. You may try something and then realize another way may be better. Be patient. Keep moving forward toward the things you want most in your life.
Obstacle #7 – You have unrealistic expectations
In a society that emphasizes immediate gratification, you may want to see results…yesterday. Some changes are easy. Most are not. And it’s hard to know in which category one will fall. Plus, change takes time.
** If you find yourself struggling with making a change take time to look at any expectations you have. They can be sneaky.
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Are you expecting to experience the same results as someone else?
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Are you expecting to see immediate results?
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Is it harder than you expected?
Obstacle #8 – Your inner critic is causing trouble
Do you have a voice that questions what you’re doing? That’s your inner critic. Your inner critic means well and is trying to protect you in their own way, but they end up doing more harm than good.
If your inner critic tells you any of the following…
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You’ll never change
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It’s hopeless
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Why bother
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There’s something wrong with you if you’re finding this hard
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Why will this time be any different?
…then I would gently encourage you to start challenging this voice. You don’t have to silence it. It’s simply evidence of being human.
**Ask your inner critic “why?”
Why will I never change? Why it is hopeless? You may discover an underlying emotion around the change you desire.
Maybe it’s fear or one of the other struggles discussed above.
Change isn’t easy, but shedding light on what is getting in your way can help you move forward. Whatever change you want to make know this: the possibility of change comes with every moment.
Curious about how a change in movement could boost your brain? Check out this article on mindful motion.
What’s your biggest struggle with change? Comment below!
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