What is self-awareness?

Our world is filled with external factors that you can’t control. But what we can control is how we deal with them.

That’s where self-awareness enters the picture.

Keep reading to learn

• What self-awareness is

• Why it’s important

• How you can improve it

What is self-awareness?

Self-awareness is knowing yourself. But what does that really mean?

Being self-aware is having the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively. “Objectively” is a tricky word, as it can be very difficult to take an unbiased look at yourself. Self-awareness is doing this as much as possible.

It’s based on the idea that you are not your thoughts. When you know yourself, you understand your thoughts, emotions, strengths, weaknesses, values, etc.

How does this show up?

• You recognize a bad habit and the effect it has on you.

• You learn your emotional triggers so you are better able to deal with difficult situations.

• You understand patterns within yourself – maybe you’re not good at asking for help or always think you’re right.

• You get really frustrated with your kids but realize that it’s not really the kids but that you’re tired and haven’t finished anything from your to-do list.

Why is self-awareness important?

Having a strong sense of self-awareness is beneficial. Here are several reasons why.

You understand yourself better

The choices you make and your behavior aren’t random. Your thoughts, feelings, biases, and values influence them. Understanding what motivates your behavior and thinking is powerful.

Self-awareness sets the stage for a strong foundation.

You understand your strengths and weaknesses

We all have strengths. And we all have weaknesses. Being aware of your strengths can certainly help you in an interview. But it’s also important when reflecting on yourself.

What are you good at? What skills do you have?

Knowing your strengths often means that you work on improving them.

Understanding your weaknesses is just as valuable. It may be less enjoyable to think about your weaknesses, but it’s a great opportunity to practice self-compassion.

• Are you a perfectionist?

• Do you have a tendency to overanalyze?

• Do you not speak up to avoid conflict?

• Are you hard on yourself?

• Are you a people-pleaser?

• Do you struggle with setting boundaries?

Being honest and compassionate with yourself when it comes to your weaknesses can increase your self-awareness.

You improve your listening skills

Have you had the experience of talking with someone that is clearly NOT listening to you? You know what you’re saying is going in one ear and out the other.

People who lack self-awareness can be the worst listeners. When you don’t understand your own thoughts and feelings, it’s very difficult to do that for others.

Becoming more self-aware helps you become a better listener. And becoming a better listener improves your ability to empathize.

Understanding yourself better can help you understand others as well!

You self-regulate better

Self-regulation is managing your emotions and what triggers them. This is different from “self-control” which usually involves suppressing your emotions.

To self-regulate you first need to understand your emotions and triggers.

Daniel Goleman developed the theory of emotional intelligence. He describes self-awareness skills as “knowing what we’re feeling and why. They are the basis for good intuition and decision-making“ (2).

You lead better

Studies have searched for what traits successful leaders have. A 2010 study looked at 72 executives and found that people skills and self-awareness resulted in better strategic and financial results.

Bullying and a “results-at-all-costs” approach actually diminished the bottom line.

Another study had similar results, which found that effective leaders made it a point to work on themselves.

How can you become more self-aware?

Paying attention to your thoughts and feelings can help you become more self-aware. But how can we actually do that?

Seek feedback

It can be difficult to know your strengths and weaknesses. So ask someone you feel will give you constructive feedback. Ask them what they think you excel at. Or to make it more interesting ask them what they think your superpowers are.

You could also ask someone you trust where you could improve. That’s a kind way of asking for weaknesses.

Journal

Allow yourself to free-write for 5 minutes. Or use a prompt to get you started.

• What went well today?

• Write down all the things you think you SHOULD do, that you don’t want to do. Which ones on your list are things that you don’t actually need to do?

• Think about a change you are afraid to make or something you want to do or try but are afraid. What is the worst that could go wrong and how would you face it?

• If you didn’t have to work a job for money, what would you do with your time?

The point is to just write. Let your thoughts flow and write them down.

Ask “what”

When we respond a certain way it can be natural to ask “why” we’re feeling that particular way at the moment.

This article argues that asking only “why” can lead to unproductive negative thinking. You don’t want to get caught in a rabbit hole leading you to unproductive thinking.

Asking “what” questions helps you

1. stay more objective

2. feel more empowered to take action

3. focus on the future.

You may find yourself open to new information when you ask “what”.

For example, let’s say you want to improve your balance. You don’t want to fall when out walking. You could ask “why can’t I balance?” This may lead to thoughts of “I should be able to balance” or “I used to be stronger”.

Those thoughts aren’t helpful.

Instead of asking the “why” question, ask “what can I do to improve my balance?” This helps you take a step back, look at the situation more objectively, and take action. Maybe you realize that you can balance on one leg every day. Maybe you realize you want to get back into yoga (wink, wink).

Focus on the “what” questions.

Yoga

Of course, I’ll bring up yoga! How can I not when it’s another wonderful way to build your self-awareness?!

Why is this?

You connect to your body. In this article, I discuss why it’s important to improve body awareness. When you are present on your mat it brings awareness to every inch of your body. This awareness extends to your emotions and your thought patterns.

But yoga isn’t just about an isolated practice on a rubber mat. You may start there, but you take that awareness with you off the mat.

Time and again I’ve witnessed my yoga students not only increase their body awareness but their self-awareness as well.

Thoughts come and go. An important principle of yoga is to welcome any thoughts. Even negative ones. But do NOT accept these thoughts as absolute truth. You can acknowledge them, notice how they affect your body (because thoughts do), and let them go.

Replace the negative ones with more positive ones. This practice builds self-awareness, on and off the mat.

Quiet your inner critic. Just because you acknowledge a thought does not mean you’re inviting your inner critic over for dinner. Nope.

Yoga invites stillness. As you learn to replace negative thoughts with more positive ones you are refocusing this energy and accepting yourself as you are.

This self-awareness won’t only happen on the mat but will be with you always.

What tips might you try to build your self-awareness? Comment below!

Sources:

1. Duval, S., & Wicklund, R. A. (1972). A theory of objective self-awareness. Academic Press.

2. Goleman, D. (2012). Emotional intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ. Random House.