Change isn’t easy. Scratch that, change can be downright difficult. Why is that? Why does making a change sometimes feel like you’re up on an uphill battle?
Most of us have changes that we want to make – myself included. But we struggle. We struggle to get started, we struggle to keep going, and we struggle to be consistent.
Below are 8 common obstacles we face when wanting to make a change. The more awareness we have the more clarity we gain. The more clarity we gain the more action we can take.
Why do you want to make a change?
It’s important to ask yourself this question for 2 reasons.
First, it’s important to determine that a change is one YOU desire to make. Not one your spouse, partner, child, friend, or society wants you to make.
It must be a change YOU want to make deep down.
Second, understanding why you desire to make whatever change you want can help when you face other challenges.
** Take the time to figure out your why.
Too many changes
Are you trying to make several changes at once? Or maybe you’re wanting to make a really big change?
If you have many changes you want to make in your life, you might feel pressure to do all the things right now. You might even feel that to do this change you also have to make that change, which can lead to yet another change you must make.
Change takes energy. If you’re trying to make several changes at once that’s going to take a lot of energy.
Instead of throwing in a lot of changes at once, take one step at a time. If you’re trying to make a big change can you break it down into smaller steps?
Slow and steady progress is better than a flurry of action that’s not sustainable.
** Ask yourself – What is one small (even tiny) action I can take?
Fear of failure
If you have a fear of failure then you’re in good company. Why do we fear failure? To make any progress we must make mistakes. We learn this as babies.
When babies are learning to walk they take a step, fall, get up, fall again, and keep getting back up. Same for learning to ride a bike. Kids keep trying, even when they’ve crashed.
At some point, failing becomes more frightening. Why does that happen?
You will be okay if you fail. Life will go on. The sky won’t fall. What will happen is you’ll learn, pivot, and be even better for it.
But not if you don’t take action.
** Change your perspective to a more curious one. Seeing failure as a learning experience can make it easier to handle.
You don’t feel motivated
The reality is we’re not always going to feel like doing something. I don’t feel like cleaning the bathroom or mopping the floor. But I know that I’ll be happy with the results. Can you relate?
Life is going to happen and we won’t always feel like doing something.
Motivation doesn’t cause action, it’s the result of actions.
This is where Mel Robbin’s 5 Second Rule comes in handy. The second you hesitate or start thinking you don’t “feel” like it, count “5-4-3-2-1”, then go. You’ll interrupt your brain talking you out of it. (For more tips to check out this article)
** Don’t wait to feel motivated. Revisit why you want to make a change. Then get into action.
Lack of a supportive environment
A supportive environment is critical for making any change. This environment includes your physical environment and the people around you.
Physical environment
If you want to eat less sugar, but your house is full of sugary snacks, it’s going to be more challenging to make that change.
If you want to think more positively, then being around people that are negative a lot or watching the news all the time will make it that much more difficult.
Or if you want to quit smoking but spend a lot of time with people that do smoke. It’ll be harder to resist temptation.
** What can you do to make your environment more supportive?
If you want to get up and go for a walk or run right away then try setting up your environment to make this easier. Set out your clothes and shoes the night before.
People around you
When we’re changing something meaningful about our lifestyle, health, career, finances, or any other aspect of our lives, we want to make sure we’re getting the right support.
Take a look at the people around you. Unfortunately, they might not always be supportive of the change you want to make. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. But this doesn’t mean you can’t make the change.
It means that you must find the right community to support you. It may involve people you know, or maybe it’s someone you don’t know personally but has followed a similar path.
This doesn’t mean you have to shun people that disagree with the changes you want to make. Not at all. Disagreements can be valuable and help us understand ourselves and others.
** But you do want to make sure that people around you support your desire to grow as a person.
You don’t know where to start
You may have this great desire to make a change but, in reality, have no idea where to begin.
Fortunately, there is the internet and likely lots of people that have done it before. Do some searching. Talk to people. Take advice from someone who has actually been in your shoes and gone where you want to go.
Or if you can’t find anyone, read the top-rated books on that topic or read blog articles.
** Find a way that suits you. You may try something and then realize another way may be better. Be patient. Keep moving forward toward the things you want most in your life.
Check your expectations
In a society that emphasizes immediate gratification, you may want to see results…yesterday.
Some changes are easy. Most are not. And it’s hard to know in which category one will fall. Plus, change takes time.
** If you find yourself struggling with making a change take time to look at any expectations you have. They can be sneaky.
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Are you expecting to experience the same results as someone else?
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Are you expecting to see immediate results?
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Is it harder than you expected?
Do you have an inner critic causing trouble?
Do you have a voice that questions what you’re doing? That’s your inner critic. Your inner critic means well and is trying to protect you in their own way, but they end up doing more harm than good.
If your inner critic tells you any of the following…
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You’ll never change
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It’s hopeless
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Why bother
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There’s something wrong with you if you’re finding this hard
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Why will this time be any different?
…then I would gently encourage you to start challenging this voice. You don’t have to silence it. It’s simply evidence of being human.
**Ask your inner critic “why?”
Why will I never change? Why it is hopeless? You may discover an underlying emotion around the change you desire.
Maybe it’s fear or one of the other struggles discussed above.
Change isn’t easy, but shedding light on what is getting in your way can help you move forward. Whatever change you want to make know this: the possibility of change comes with every moment.
What’s your biggest struggle with change? Comment below!
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