Why self-doubt sucks

Have you ever doubted yourself? Yeah, me too! Lots of times.

Self-doubt sucks. Plain and simple. It can prevent you from achieving your goals and living your best life. And it can be sneaky. You may doubt your abilities, your worth, or your potential. Self-doubt can be a powerful force that keeps you stuck in negative habits or prevents you from moving forward. 

What if I told you that you don’t have to let self-doubt hold you back? Let’s dig into the impact self-doubt has so that you can recognize it and then use the tips below to move forward with confidence. 

Self-doubt undermines taking action

When you doubt your ability to succeed at anything, it can be hard to take action. One study found that self-doubt can lead to decreased motivation, especially in the face of difficult tasks (1). Have you ever wanted to add in more exercise but doubted your ability to follow through? I bet you found it harder to take action. Or if you doubt your worthiness of a promotion at work, you might feel less motivated to put in the extra effort required to achieve it.

Self-doubt leads to fear of failure

Fear of failing can prevent you from moving forward. And self-doubt can create a fear of failure. Doesn’t that stink! When you doubt yourself, you may worry that you’ll fail and be embarrassed or ashamed which can be a significant barrier to behavior change (2). Have you ever doubted your ability to stick to a healthy diet? Maybe you even avoided trying altogether because you’re afraid of failing and feeling the guilt that comes with that.

Self-doubt creates negative self-talk

Self-doubt can lead to negative self-talk, which can further reinforce your doubts and keep you stuck in negative patterns. Negative self-talk can have a significant impact on our self-esteem and our ability to cope with stress (3). Have you ever doubted your ability to do something new or different? You might tell yourself that you are not good enough or that you’ll embarrass yourself. This negative self-talk can make it even harder to overcome your doubts and take action.

Negative self-talk can lead to limited beliefs, and they fuel each other. The more you tell yourself you can’t do something, the more you’ll believe it. It can also encourage perfectionism. You may begin to believe that perfection is attainable, which it’s not, and that “great” isn’t as good.

Overcome self-doubt

Self-doubt can be a powerful force. But it’s possible to overcome it. With practice and persistence, you can learn to recognize and manage your doubts so that they do not hold you back. Self-compassion can be a powerful tool for overcoming self-doubt (4). By treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, we can build resilience and confidence (5). 

Here are some tips to identify and overcome self-doubt

1. Recognize limited beliefs

What beliefs are holding you back? When you want to start something new what pops into your head? Encouragement or negativity? Catch your critic in the act and ask yourself, would you say that to a good friend or a child?  

Identifying what belief can be holding you back is the first step to overcoming self-doubt.

2. Change your self-talk  

Words are powerful. Negative talk can have real-life effects (6). When you catch negative self-talk, it can be difficult to force yourself to stop a train of thought in its tracks. It’s often far easier to change the intensity of your language. 

Change “I can’t stand this” to “This is challenging.” “I hate…” becomes “I don’t like…” Instead of telling yourself that you’re not good enough to start a new habit, you might try saying, “I’m not perfect, but I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough.” When your self-talk uses more gentle language, much of its negative power is muted as well.

Instead of focusing on your flaws and failures, reframe your thoughts to focus on your strengths and accomplishments. This can help you build a more positive and resilient mindset.

3. Focus on your why

Whatever it is that you want to accomplish, take the time to determine WHY you want it. Don’t skip this. Knowing your “why” helps give more power to your desires than your fears. And you start becoming afraid of what you’ll miss out on if you let that self-doubt keep you from your goals. 

Write your why down in a journal. Or write it on a sticky note, then stick it on a place you’ll see often.

4. Surround yourself with support

Surround yourself with people that lift you up. Minimize relationships that bring negativity into your life and surround yourself with positivity and support instead.

5. Take action

Determine what small action you can take to move forward and do it! Make the action teeny tiny. It’s okay if it’s imperfect. Action builds momentum. Action builds confidence.

Self-doubt can be a challenging obstacle to overcome, but it is not impossible. By understanding how self-doubt works and how it can hold us back, we can take steps to manage our doubts and move forward with confidence. The next time you find yourself doubting your abilities or your worth, remember that you have the power to overcome those doubts and create the life you want.

Did you like what you read? Click here to learn about taking imperfection actions.

Sources:

1. Elliot, A. J., & Church, M. A. (1997). A hierarchical model of approach and avoidance achievement motivation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 72(1), 218-232.

2. Gollwitzer, P. M., & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta‐analysis of effects and processes. Advances in experimental social psychology, 38, 69-119.

3. Lienemann, B. A., & McHale, S. M. (2018). A review of self-talk interventions for sport performance anxiety. Journal of Applied Sport Psychology, 30(3), 275-294.

4. Neff, K. D., & Germer, C. K. (2013). A pilot study and randomized controlled trial of the mindful self‐compassion program. Journal of clinical psychology, 69(1), 28-44.

5. Baumeister, R. F. (1993). Self-esteem, self-presentation, and future directions: An introduction to the special issue. Journal of social and clinical psychology, 12(1), 1-3.

6. Yun, JY., Shim, G. & Jeong, B. Verbal Abuse Related to Self-Esteem Damage and Unjust Blame Harms Mental Health and Social Interaction in College Population. Sci Rep 9, 5655 (2019).